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Reflections on 2020: The Longest Year

December 23, 2020 by Vanessa Whiteside Leave a Comment

When I think back on the last year, my first thought is “throw it out with the garbage!” It was not a year any of us want to repeat. Turning the page to better days sounds ideal, yet each day can be challenging. Listening to the news can feel like a weighted blanket of doom these days. For the sake of not sounding like a total Debbie Downer, there is an end to this madness eventually. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

footprints

I don’t have the quick answer for how to manage stress during a pandemic. Many health and wellness articles give advice ranging from self-care routines to cocktail recipes and everything in between. The answer is somewhere in there. For me, I’ve taken it day by day and sometimes hour by hour, and what I’ve learned is that 2020 required me to get quiet and listen to my thoughts. To hear the good, the bad, and the sometimes noisy ones. It’s been a process, but what I’ve learned during this time has been immeasurable.

A few reflections:

A BUSY DAY SPEEDS UP THE HOURS

I was already a person who woke up before the sun and made a to-do list for the day. When we received stay-at-home recommendations, I saw it as an opportunity to tackle tasks. Of course there were moments of boredom, but I occupied my time staying happily busy. I grew a garden, cooked new recipes, and even went as far as chalking the neighborhood with positive messages. Staying busy sped up the hours.

QUIET EQUATES TO PRODUCTIVITY

Some people thrive in loud, buzzing work environments. I’m definitely not one of them. I write and strategize for a living and need to be able to hear myself think. When I’m in the zone and someone interrupts my stream of consciousness to talk about themselves, it halts my creativity. Last year, I had gone as far as using noise cancelling headphones at the office. Working remotely has been a blessing that I relish, and to be frank, my writing craft and productivity are better for it.

A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP IS KEY

Anything that I can’t seem to solve or that truly frustrates me is cured by a good night’s sleep. When my mood is exacerbated by the day’s news headlines about the pandemic or the economy, I’ve learned that it’s best just to get some rest and start fresh the next day. I admire people who say “never go to bed mad.” Clearly, they’ve never argued with me about something. Ha!

ALCOHOL IS LIKE A LOUD FRIEND AT A PARTY

I appreciate wine. I love craft beer. Somewhere along the way last year I began drinking too often. Alcohol helped me transition after work to the evening hours, joined me on the weekends, and well, for nearly most occasions. Like a fun friend you take with you as a guest to a party, alcohol eventually had too much fun and embarrassed me. Today, I’ve cut way back on my drinking and I’m better for it.

KINDNESS ENDURES

A tumultuous year of political differences, race riots, and economic downturn hurt a lot of people in 2020. Showing kindness to others was something I could do to make it a little bit better. From a simple act of donating to a charity to smiling through my mask at a stranger in a parking lot, I did what I could to be a nicer person. Because at the end of the day, it’s not what people say that you remember. It’s how they made you feel.

The year 2020 taught me to zero in on what it means to listen to my instincts and support my passions. To be a better version of me.

What have you learned about yourself in the last year? What lessons has 2020 taught you?

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: 2020, COVID-19, footprints, goals, health, life, life lessons, lifestyle, pandemic, productivity, reflection, self-care, sleep, wellness, work, year

Garden House Showcase: A Special Place for Mom

April 18, 2017 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

My mom is quite talented at a lot of things. When guests come over she rolls out the red carpet with the some of the most delicious meals. Even if you’ve dropped by the house mid-day, she’ll serve you a delicious cheese and fruit platter and pour you a glass of Chardonnay. Yea, she’s that kind of hostess.

But don’t be surprised if you knock on the door and she doesn’t answer. She’s most likely outside in her custom built garden house doing what she does best…gardening. Make no mistake. This is no She Shed. She refuses to let people label it as such. This is a real-deal garden house where she spends time cultivating her craft – making her gardens flourish. Whether she is sitting in the screened in porch chair reading about rose bushes or potting plants in the stainless steel sink, her green thumb is at work.

Located behind my parent’s home, mom’s garden house often entices strangers driving by to stop and ask to see it.

It seems only fair that my step-dad, who has his own woodworking shop, would build a garden house for her, right? The 8’x12′ house (not including the 5’x12′ screened in porch) includes the same amenities that any home would have including running water and electricity. During the winter it houses plants she wants to keep alive from the outdoor elements and during the summer the sun beams in on oversized house plants.

I recognize quite a bit of my mom’s style in her garden house’s design from the upcycled screen door to the ceiling light fixture that she held on to for years until this house was built.

Mom’s garden house is an extension of her own home. The interior’s neutral colors, off-set by the bright white counter tops and trimmed windows, includes various green hues from decorative additions and dark black metal pieces. Having collected many of the sitabouts over time, she decorates in a style more sophisticated than rustic farmhouse but less stuffy than classic traditional. She has an eclectic sense of design style that is uniquely her own.

Once inside the screened in porch, glass French doors remain welcome you into a spacious window lit space.
Muted green wicker chairs flank both sides of the screened in porch to the east and the west.

When not busy nurturing plants, she uses the garden house as a quiet refuge to read or just watch her many bird feeders in the yard over a glass of wine. When friends visit on occasion, like her Bunco gal pals, it serves as a getaway space to venture to between games for a quick tour. You can hear the women audibly dote over each detail of the garden house. They want one too. Who wouldn’t?

A serious gardner needs a space to pour over the details found in gardening books. Always the humble student, my mom enjoys learning why some plants and flowers flourish and how she can attract or eliminate insects.

Mom’s appreciation of nature goes back as far as I can remember.

“It (gardening) feeds my soul in a way nothing else does. I’m connected to plants in new says every year,” she said recently.

My childhood was spent watching her in the yard with her hands in the dirt on weekends. After coming home from school we would drag around the hose to water thick, layered flower beds of all colors and varieties. Sunflowers towered over our heads and wildflowers nestled at our feet. She would tell me about butterflies that she adored and the grasshoppers that broke her heart.

Today, she still sees beauty in the colors of delicate flowers and enjoys the harvest of a vegetable or herb garden. Her accepted challenge each year is to learn about the needs of plant placement in her landscape while always attempting to attract birds, bees, and insects.

Antique pottery and her favorite pieces adorn a shelf above the door inside the garden house.
The east side of the garden house exposes an area behind it where she also pots plants and flowers.
The wooden table on the right was her only potting station at our old house.

Gardening is not easy. She admits that the challenge is to find the balance between what she wants to plant and what nature will allow. Admittedly, she says there are more failures to learn every season and enough small successes to keep her happy.

I love spring and wish it lasted longer, she says.

It’s true. She smiles the most in the spring (with college basketball season in a close second place). When the weather begins to warm up and the days spring forward, she is more outdoors than she is indoors. I often call her to wish her a “Happy Spring” only for it to go to voicemail because she’s outside playing in the yard.

While I love the outdoors, I’m not a natural gardener. I struggle to keep plants alive. I either over or under water them. Completely forget about them. I never installed the proper drip system. Can a person’s “green thumb” be learned? Maybe I just wrote it off as “mom’s hobby.” I should have really paid more attention when helping her in the yard as a teen. Just last week I called her seeking advice about our sad rose bushes. Before I knew it, I was at her house on my hands and knees pruning her rose bushes while she used wood glue on the stem ends to prevent bores for invading them again. Glue? Who knew!

A rusty garden tool serves as a door knocker on the exterior of the garden house.

I’m “foodie” thanks to my mom’s love of cooking. In fact, many of her garden harvests end up in her recipes. Ripe tomatoes are the star ingredient in her homemade gazpacho, a cool treat during a blazing hot summer day. Fresh herbs like rosemary and thyme find their way into many of her savory recipes. This year she has decided to trade her tomato plants for perennials because it’s just less to have to worry about and each year perennials come back stronger when given the space to spread out.

I’ve have so much to learn from her wisdom about nature, about plants and birds. As I mentioned before, I’m at best a wannabe gardener. In fact, I’ve killed so many house plants over the years that if there is every going to be any hope for me, I’m going to have to spend more time with mom in the garden house. If you’re more like me, you’ll appreciate a post she helped me write last summer 10 Hard to Kill Houseplants You Can Leave While on Vacation.

But not every day can be spent gardening. Sometimes the body needs a day of rest between the hours spent digging in unforgiving soil and pulling weeds away from flowers. On these days, she takes time to let her body relax but we all know she is still thinking about her next outdoor project.

A water drip system was installed for her window boxes, which extends to the container pots near the garden house entrance.

What can we learn from mom’s garden house? Every woman, every person, needs a space to call their own. Where they can go to escape the chaos of the day and appreciate some quiet time or just enjoy their hobby.

Looking west from inside.

What is it that brings you peace? What do you enjoy learning about most? Tell me in the comments section how you pursue your hobby or where you like to spend quiet time.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: antiques, backyard, bird feeders, bird watching, birds, books, botanical garden, break, bugs, Bunco, ceiling fan, chalkboard, chickens, cigar box, decor, design, desk, dirt, DIY, do it yourself, door knocker, earth, farmhouse, flower frog, flowers, framed art, French doors, garden, gardening hat, gardens, gazpacho, grasshoppers, green thumb, greenhouse, harvest, herbs, hobby, homegrown, horticulture, hose, house, houseplants, insects, interior, ivy, landscape, landscape lighting, lawn, mom, mother, nature, outdoors, patio, place, plant stand, plantings, plants, porch, pottery, potting, potting station, quiet, read, reading, reading nook, refuge, rest, roses, rustic, sconce, screen, seasonal, seed packets, seeds, shade, She shed, showcase, shutters, sink, sitabouts, soil, space, special, spring, sunshine, tile, trees, upcycled, urban garden, vacation, vegetables, vintage, weeds, wicker chair, window, window box, wine, work, yard

What Nobody Tells a First-Year Teacher But Should

July 23, 2016 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

After over a decade working with school children in different roles, including seven years as a high school teacher, there are tips for incoming new teachers that college professors and building administrators NEVER tell you. What Nobody Tells a First-Year Teacher But Should is real-life advice they should have told you for success in your first year of teaching. After talking to fellow educators and some serious reflection, I’ve compiled this list of topics.

Note: This list was generated from my experience as a teacher and may not reflect every teacher’s experience. If you have veteran teacher advice to add, type it in the comments section below.

back-to-school

  1. Understand the deductions on your first paycheck and who the labor union rep is in your building. You may not be inclined to join the union, but knowing who in the building goes to bat for teacher and student rights is paramount. They help teachers negotiate for better salaries, supplemental pay, benefits, and calendar days and understand contract language.
  2. The administration wants you to sign up for anything and everything when you’re a new teacher, but you don’t have to do it to please them. You’re the new kid on the block, so don’t burn yourself out working after school as a ticket taker, basketball game scoreboard operator, or club sponsor yet. Several other teachers in your building are tired of these roles and are ready to give them up. Here’s the thing. You don’t have to sign up for anything if you don’t want to be considered a great teacher. Your job is to teach children well in your classroom, and if your after-school schedule doesn’t permit picking up supplementals, don’t feel obligated to do so.
  3. Teacher in-service days are bittersweet. Yes, you get to lunch with your cronies and have a break from school children. That’s great, right? However, most in-service days included helpful information presented to teachers in the first half of the day, and the second half of the day is spent watching the clock due to boredom. Districts typically use their in-service time to present technology in the classroom, standardized test requirements, and budget concerns. Some districts bring in motivational speakers who work for themselves, travel to schools, and inspire teachers. Bringing in paid speakers costs money, something many districts lack, so you can count on most in-service days spent grading standardized tests, meeting to discuss school policies and procedures, and listening to your district technology director present about computers.
  4. Not all principals are people-people. What?!? It’s true. Why are they working as administrators, then? Because they didn’t want to teach in the classroom anymore and couldn’t support themselves by simply coaching. This kind of administrator delegates by email from his or her desk. So, what should a new teacher do if they realize they work for that kind of principal? Seek the assistant principal or another veteran teacher/mentor teacher for advice. Often you can rely on other people in the building, including the secretary or janitor, to help you with your needs.
  5. The head janitor and their crew are invaluable to you and the students. They are the backbone of the building and know how to clean, run, and fix everything in the building. If you’re a coach or club sponsor, your students should thank them often. You tend to lean on the custodial staff to set up tables, clean the gym after your team’s game, open the bleachers for club picture day, set up risers in the auditorium, and so on. Thank you notes go a long way.
  6. The front office secretaries more or less run the school, and they’ll often let you know this during your first month on the job. Who will help you if you don’t know how to e-req textbooks? Who will help you find a substitute at the last minute when your kid is sick at home? Who’s going to balance your club or team’s spending budget? You got it! The secretaries. If they are brash to you during your first month on the job, it’s because the beginning of the year is a hectic time in the office. Happy secretaries are hard to find, so cheer them up daily by asking about them and taking an interest in their interests.
  7. You don’t have to have a perfectly decorated classroom or organized space by the first day of school. You will benefit much more by having a well-written syllabus and a policies form for parents to sign rather than color-coordinated cubbies and bulletin boards.
  8. When you find a great substitute teacher, keep requesting them. Some schools use an online sub-finder like Aesop, which allows you to rank their performance. Talk to other teachers in your building when you know you need a sub. Experienced teachers know which subs run a smooth classroom and are unafraid to discipline. Wouldn’t you rather have a sub who reads your sub notes aloud to the class than one who lets them sit around and play on their phones or talk? Request a well-respected sub for your first day off from work. Remember to leave well-written sub plans. Your building secretary often requests a copy of these notes. A substitute binder should be well labeled and sitting out in the open near or on your desk daily. The sub should find the bell schedule, lunch schedule, reminders, attendance roster, extra copies of the daily assignment(s), and an area to leave notes. They appreciate an organized teacher and will want to substitute for you again. Leaving a chocolate bar also makes them quite happy.
  9. You’ll be observed by your building admin often in the first couple of years of teaching, but then the frequency changes, or they don’t observe you at all. Depending on the administrator visiting your room during an announced or unannounced observation, they may stay five minutes or the entire hour. Some administrators eavesdrop by your door or cruise by the classroom and consider your observation. They never give evaluation feedback right away. When called in to go over your evaluation, ask questions. Reflect on their notes together and discuss opportunities for improvement. Don’t just sign the evaluation comments form and return it to your classroom. Ask questions. Challenge any comment you disagree with and discuss it openly with your administrator. Discuss your evaluation with a mentor teacher.
  10. Veteran teachers know how to double-dip and make the most money possible in their position. Ask them how to increase your paycheck. Suppose you have time after school to sign up for extra duty; determine which pays the most for the least time spent. You’ll still need time to grade papers at home at some point.
  11. Lean on other teachers if you have questions or are unfamiliar with the curriculum. They probably have lesson plans, advice, and curriculum maps to help guide you.
  12. If allowed to present during a teacher in-service, do it. You’ll quickly earn the respect of teachers in the building you never see, like the gym teachers or the art teacher. This is important so you show off your knowledge and confidence. Plus, it looks good on your resume.
  13. Ask for the classroom supplies you need at the beginning of your first year. Building administration is more generous when you’re new than later on when you ask for a new desk chair or filing cabinet.
  14. CYA. Cover Your A## by documenting every bad behavior incident, the reason for a particular assignment grade, discussion with a parent, and/or why a student-athlete or choir member didn’t make the team. You will be happy you did should a parent ask for a meeting with you and the principal, which rarely happens but can.
  15. You won’t always feel as exhausted as you do during the first couple weeks of school. Promise. You’re probably not used to standing and speaking all day. Your body isn’t used to these hours. It will get easier. Sleep in on Saturdays. Don’t forget to make up some “me” time for you.

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Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: advice, back to school, curriculum, education, educator, educator advice, lifestyle, new teacher, school, substitute teacher, teacher, teaching, teaching tips, work

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Hello! I'm Vanessa. Welcome to One Delightful Life, a blog created to add more delight to your life with delicious recipes, travel destinations, and lifestyle improvement ideas. Thanks for exploring my blog!

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